How to pretend you are French and get discounts

It has been one full week since I have been back in Connecticut and

IT FEELS LIKE A FUCKING ETERNITY.

I've been wasting lots of time refusing to reintegrate, doing crosswords (and failing miserably), being the only person who smokes on campus, dropping classes, etc. etc.

For me, the most salient reason for my lack of integration is the fact that I have a couple of new personality traits, or rather, slightly altered antics. I noticed this not only when spending time with my friends and family, but even more intensely while at school. I think that a mixture of 9th semester senioritis and a silly desire to be French has turned me into a monster. My courses this semester are a bit of a joke, especially after I found out that my trip back to America was entirely unnecessary.

SPAN 101

This is my best class. After spending a small fortune on the textbook and bearing through a few awkward first meetings I've deemed this bunch of clowns as amusing. The second day of class I made a friends, and what more, my roommate jumped on me while exclaiming, "WE HAVE A CLASS TOGETHER ROOMIE!" The teacher is extremely enthusiastic and speaks to us as if we were 4th graders, which I don't mind one bit. 

Creative Writing

Has taught me, once more again, the benefits of eliminating the word "like" from your vocabulary. The girl next to me said "like" more than Samuel L. Jackson says "fuck". I could not understand what she was saying. 

We have to write poetry for this class. The teacher is a sad, balding 50-something year old who tells us that his wife hates him and leads a "discussion" for 1h15 minutes. I have not yet dropped this course because of the gorgeous Spanish exchange student who occasionally gives me googly-eyes from across the room. Hola, Diego.

2 courses in French

These courses are cool, the professor is intelligent and the kids are not so bad. Except for yesterday when toes were stepped on after a brief discussion on the aphorism "the French work to live and Americans live to work." Okay, so the aphorism is a bit strong, it is a generalization, a stereotype, these are all decent arguments. But instead, my offended classmates said,

"Americans didn't choose to have a 40 hour work week!"

"Americans work harder to have nicer things!"

"There is more of a competitive spirit in America!"

Granted that these are all true statements, they are in no way arguments against the aphorism. It is you being stubborn and not wanting to admit that we are materialistic, stressed out, and over-worked.

Classes I've dropped

I was also enrolled in a course called, "The Short Story". I signed up for this class by mistake. I meant to sign up for American Lit from 1880. I realized this as the professor had us line up at the front of the class for the syllabus, calling us his "little ducklings", then telling us that we were "like the troops", and finally, finding the poor girl with the biggest tits and blatantly hitting on her.

This is where I decided that I could not stay. I almost made a valiant dash out of the door when he said, "If ya gotta go to the toliet, just DO IT."

I have never had a professor so sexist, crude, sarcastic, offensive, and ANNOYING.

About 15 minutes into the class, after he directed one of his rude comments my way and laid down on his desk, I left. I have never walked out of a class before. I made a beeline for the library and swapped The Short Story for American Lit, which I dropped shortly thereafter upon learning that the first novel to be read was Huck Finn.

Now here is when my world is turned upside down: I learn from UCONN that I have already finished my degree and I have no need to take any more courses. All of my credits transferred over from Paris. The secretary at the Registrar actually asked me if I was graduating RIGHT NOW. I didn't know what to say, I mean yes of course, wait no I am here anyways, my lease, my time, my nerves...

So far I've been franker than ever and anti-social. Was it living in a city? Or the famous French hospitality? Did I grow up? Or did I grow a sort of shell? It's only been a week since I've been back and I've already decided that there are several people who are just not worth my time. And for the first time in my life, I go with my gut instinct and I choose spending time alone over chugging beer in order to feel more comfortable. 

Not to mention the breaking of my heart when I left Monsieur Ponpon at the Charles de Gaulle, one week ago to this very hour.

Next entry will be more cheerful, I promise. I have third Thursday to look forward too =) and a SOBER weekend in New Hampshire with two blondes.

xo

julie